ms. marie

hearts are like fruit

2009-08-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

78 stitches and thunder storms

2009-08-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

2009-08-10T20:49:00.000-07:00

i had a dream last night that i was best friends with the children tenenbaums. i wasnt eli. but i was close.

thursday

2009-08-06T20:31:00.000-07:00

shimmy shimmy coco puff shimmy shimmy ra.

2009-08-04T13:43:00.001-07:00

what do these men have in common?

2009-07-31T06:49:00.000-07:00

dream one: johnny cash, wayne newton, and m.c. escher all proposed marriage. i ended up alone because i couldnt decide which one to be with. escher was understanding. newton heart-broken, mildly pissed. cash and i stayed fairly in love, just never together.

2009-07-30T06:41:00.000-07:00

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in."

leonard cohen, anthem

2009-07-27T19:27:00.001-07:00

2009-07-16T14:34:00.001-07:00

2009-06-30T15:48:00.000-07:00

2009-06-23T19:53:00.001-07:00

bored.
like child
to a rainy day.

2009-06-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

2009-06-20T08:57:00.001-07:00

the nail on my thumb applies pressure to the scar on my index finger. there is a white line of memory that runs parrallel to the creases of knuckle skin. and right below that is a horizontal line that itches. it was a rainy day in the earlier part of the year when a handsome young man gave me his pocket knife to break into my car. the rain was pouring onto my hands. along my forearm and running off my elbows when i slipped. the rain turned red and i was covered in blood. in the back of the pickup. the rain was running down my face. a broken pocket knife was in my hand and behind his buddy holly glasses i saw his eyes tell me i would be alright. he ran the hair away from my eye then poured alcohol on my wound right before he kissed me.

missed connections

2009-06-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Your sister is a crack whore?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to:pers@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-02, 5:39AM EDT

You recently called your own sister a crack whore. We were talking about whether or not she dated my friend. I need to talk to you ASAP. If by chance you see this in the A.M., buzz me and I'll get back to you if you have the time. I hope you do. It's not completely bad, so SMILE !!!!!

2009-01-31T21:05:00.000-08:00

there is a feather.
this feather is not hope.
it is not love.
not defeat.

it is just a feather.
it fell off your back.

and i love it.
because it was yours.

working on writing to live

2008-12-28T12:27:00.000-08:00

It is sunday afternoon. I am in a debate as to take a break. to blog. a debate as wether or not to blog about segregation in albany or discuss the block that i put on my memory to remember the last four years of my life.

Where does this block come from. the information is there. i know that it is , i just dont want to think about it.

the sun is coming and my thoughts are drifting with the clouds. Where do i start. from the beginning.

June first...... move to albany .

june second.... move out. of the way and let all insecurities and choices driven by past flood forward. dead. kill myself over four years, with out success. BAM! thats it. key point in Palais.

closing time

2008-12-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

Expendable

2008-12-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

I would like to say that i made a rash decision today. Although, the build up of my knotted insides makes me believe that this was a long time coming.

I quit my job.

As much as I would love to get into the details of the day, past month, even the whole year. I will not.

I will just admit my over all happiness.

I will be moving to Austin TX sooner than planned. Definitely not regrettably.

2008-11-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

welcome to Albany. Whether or not you are headed onto or off 90 via Everett your eyes are blocked by the concrete stains we call center dividers. The lack luster, rather, the lack of life on Everett is disappointing. Not because they should do something about it, bit the fact that they have. Albany has been working on route five for some time as well as the time they spent on Everetts beautification? Now I guess I can't discredit the trees added. Come on though, we don't want to live in an urban tundra. Please slbany spend the extra and make this the urban garden it should be.

elect

2008-11-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

Stand idle
with eyes open widely

give back
through manners
optimism

believe in a world
attainable skies
colors that are not gray

developed
with an open mind

and now its snowing.

2008-10-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

this images from below are of fall. this is pretty much the extent of october. just stunning. inspiring.

i finally enjoyed the live presence of sgt. dunbar and the hobo banned. what a fabulous show. very low key. it was held in the Troy Bike Rescue space. (i wish i had been part of the renovation. but time does not always allow me to participate in beautiful events. ) the show was with a band from madison/minneapolis, sleeping in the aviary. they were a treat.

i met ruby at daisy baker. what a lovely chat that was. on both sides of me. i get these burst of complete inspiration. they usually change the course of my life and the adventurous paths i never plan for. ruby really set things apart that evening. i realized that i can go anywhere, anytime and people are waiting to meet me. i am waiting to meet them.

this last saturday we had a fall get together. rum and cider, dancing, fruit covered caramel, and, well, pumpkin carving. nancy, my co-worker came over and we went carve crazy. nancy chiseled the road to hope, i sculpted michelles proud face, and michael lit up obamas face with his excellent carving. ( you wouldnt believe im a republican)

the last picture is the reason why i can love.

i have fall-en

2008-10-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

lil' wayne

2008-10-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

"a still-anonymous babymama gave birth to his second child....." i love the modern dialect.

2008-10-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

madlib

beat konducta

thanks owen.

2008-10-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

the band at 3.25

just drums.

a smile got.

my ride

the day aint cold.

my heart beats.

like drums.

ring ding

black and mild for a block.

he dont smile.

makes my heart beat.

to a quiet street.

i ride by.

flower in hand.

child beats on seat.

this be my drum.

the same sky

2008-10-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

i got up at a very tired six a.m. i threw on my double band shirt. the one i have had for nine years. homosexy squab printed on a spice girls shirt . squab was one of the bands that played at the first show i ever curated. i was thirteen, naive and ready for life. i think that life that i was so ready for happens to be the life that i am living now. i didnt know then what it was going to be, i chose not to try and figure it out, but i am sure if i could remember it was definitely along these lines.

i left the house at a dreading six thirty a.m., unlocked my schwinn breeze and entered the rainy street to catch the east bound bus to lark st. today was the first day in a few days it felt like the first day of school. i got to the bus stop and for the first time put my bike on the front of the noisy number ten hybrid. i am always scared to do things for the first time. always. i have just learned over the years to pretend. if i act confident and collected i will probably handle the task with a bit more ease. although, for some reason, i always profess my distraught thought and overwhelming fear of the situation as soon as i am done.

it was off the bus ten minutes later and on my bicycle again. down the quiet street of albany, the less lit sky of the morning is soothing. a calm becomes me. i take the turn down hamilton street and i feel the smooth, dangerous, leaf covered street underneath my wet tire. i know i have no brake. i know there are worse things to have happened. i see the state buildings reaching like a cat out of a nap into the just glowing morning sky. good morning and never a good night.

this is the life i chose not to choose. this could have been any quiet street, this is every city. my heart is the same sky it would have been any where. there is a thick layer of content washed over my thin skin that wont be washed away by the next coming rain.

2008-10-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

the road is not empty

we flee for heart

we flee for drive

my heart is not empty

my heart is the road

2008-10-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

i love word of mouth. i want people to tell me what their plans are. i want them to ask me if i have heard of an upcoming event. i want to share the interest of shows, coffee shops, dances, movies, restaurants. i would like to have the chance to make dates and meet people at a place of common interest. i think it is important for the owners, cordinaters, establishments and promotional parties involved to be able to trust the community to do their part in spreading the word. without this we have flat towns and the lack of momentum.

Sgt. Dunbar and the Hobo Banned tomorrow in Troy, NY at 51 3rd St.

Haunted Corn Maze "Field of Screams" on saturday the 18th between 7.30 to 9.30

2627 Gifford's Church Rd. Princetown, NY 12306

the defiant

2008-10-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

i work. i work. i work.
the day goes by,
empty,
rattled,
there is a storm,
the wind,
the fear,
the days are going.

in the eye,
rational,
observant,
in tune to find a peace.

in my soul i am defiant.

the heart

2008-10-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

sometimes life goes past a feeling. this is what it looks like when it goes past romantic. this is what i live through.

the moon

2008-10-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

The Women (1939)

2008-10-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

2008-10-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

"with every new day, with every new experience, the world gets a little smaller."

2008-10-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

disposition of laziness.

i feel i should explain the reason why i am lazy.

- the library is 0.1 miles away; a walking time of 3 min. (maps.google.com ). i have refused the adventure.

twenty two without a phone.

2008-10-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

the struggle of an existence with a lesser dependence to technology than the average american.

i dont find myself becoming amish, but i would like to drift away from everyone else. with the lack of practice of moderation and balance in these pre-post-modern times, i am not sure where "extreme" actions are necessary compared to non-steps being taken.

extreme actions i feel i would like to practice would be having no car, no computer, and the most difficult....... no phone.

i have a car. does anybody want to buy it because i usually forget i have it.

no computer, no change. the interesting thing about not having a computer is that i want one. i cannot afford one. for the most part, the most dragging reason as to why i want one is for convenience. the constant "may i use your computer" thing is, quite simply, a drag. the weighing issues seem to come down to bothering others, which i dont really have a problem with and my modern disposition of laziness.

the most arduous task is the ditching of the el phono. fuck. i recently dropped mine in the toilet. 6:43 a.m. on my way out the door for work. i was disconcerted. all the text messages i was going to miss. how was i going to call anybody when i went on delivery. i wouldnt know the time. what if zombies attacked. what if there was a hurricane. an earthquake. what would i do if i got a flat tire. was running late. bored. tired. if i got excited. what if i got got mad. jesus. exactly, how the fuck did jesus survive without a phone?

he didnt. he was nailed to cross. locked in a cave and no way to call anybody.

after all of this disconbobulance i thought about being broke. i do spend five bucks a month for when this situation goes down, and trust me, it goes down often. but i will also need to spend fifty on a new phone. and then continue to spend 59.74 every month after. which is up five bucks ever since i went three hundred over on my text messages.

my mood started to shift. i began to realize that my stress was leading to moments of ease. i didnt have to worry about getting distracted from work. no look out for the cops as i scream around a corner in my bosses car. no wondering why he hasnt called. and my favorite, a perfectly appropriate excuse for not calling anybody back, even though my voicemail has precedented for that continual occurrence.

so, i am without a phone. i dont even need to think about it. the decision has been made.

aw, fuck.

my phone, it, it cant be. is it true. oh lord. it works.

now i have a choice.

maybe my choice will be to take the money that would normally go to paying for my phone, save it and buy a computer.

Hebrew n'9 n9 p9

2008-10-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

love it.

"ina babba, ally babba.... something, something, (this shit is awesome) babba"

my favorite conversation of the day followed the explanation of Yom Kippur.

"happy atonement, i guess."

"eh. its hopeless"

i do find the timing of things in my life to be nothing less of synchronistic in the most beautiful and enlightening ways.

i think in order for one to fully understand the beauty of my existence is through the details of the previous sentence.

the currents

2008-09-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

today i began my search for the community college of choice in the cities of seattle and minneapolis. i had looked at schools in denver and portland. i will let you know more about portland with a more excessive description of my findings after i let you know about denver.

poo on denver.

Portland though. portland oh portland oh portland for thy love i feel is that of tubs and tanks filled with tons and tons of open arms, ideas, progressive thought, happy futures, love making, making out, making in, making futures, making full, finding knowledge, living a life that is like drinking the perfect temperature of coffee.

but for reals. portland community college offers a dual enrollment program with portland state university. i would have access to all the amenities that both schools provide. with one application and the lower cost of community college. with one foot in each school i will be able to take advantage of a vasarray of courses between the two as well as the combination of advisers from both schools.

i will probably make my focus sociology with my transfer into community development. i would love to grasp the development and effect of society on individuals as well as the communities they make up. with portlands progressive movement in their communities structure, i feel that my environment will greatly influence my learning. with all of this i will gain the strength to further a new fashion of community responsibility through programs designed to shape the lives of our future leaders.

the ability to move to portland is entirely realistic. its the following my heart that will be the deciding factor. at the moment i have invested a percentage of my heart into a partnership that is worth the opportunity to have a change of plan. a plan that i feel is as equally practical, mature and self-improving.

Dinosaur Jr.

2008-09-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

you mean Dinosaur Sr.

a couple to surpass the time

2008-09-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

i look to you and i know.

the seasons change more often on the coast i do not wish to attend.

i look to know a knowledge of civilizations grown.

one mind expands

and hearts will tend to follow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

your body

of false leading frailty

is one that makes me weak,

strong in presentation

i lead

lead

lead,

lead

is our love.

the journeys to be carried,

my back is already in mourning,

but because of you

i am strong in the morning.

in what form, in what time.

2008-09-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

these cities are changing at a pace i do not grasp. i hope their grasp on this change is stronger than mine.

i have yet to understand how it succeeds. probably because i am only twenty two and have yet to see so much. as much as i have lived and experienced. these actual situations do not make up for the experience of time. to see cities evolve, societies develop, culture and life styles change in a cities entirety.

i did not experience equal rights grow. i did not experience the evolution of a womans role in society. i did not hear the movement of speeches. i did not hear the drop of fear in the voices across our country. i do hope though. i did not before. i did not fear before. i fear now. i hope for change as i fear we do not get it.

in times that should be changing i believe i can have a hand in the direction it goes. i feel that my heart is like that of many others living in cities that do not relate to their needs. cities that do not grow. cities that weep. i weep with them as i hope that you do too.

summ "e" ry

2008-09-19T14:34:00.002-07:00

i killed summer.

2008-09-19T14:34:00.001-07:00

summer dead
me cold

i want
leaves

fall
grounded

without a love
i would wither

flowers
i want

soooo long and still short

2008-09-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

i moved and i want to move again. i hate my place in a way that it is real. real lame. but it shouldnt be.

i am now working my forty hour week. i am now weak.

i volunteer. and smoke cigarettes. try to fit in a drink. make love. smile a lot. love. a lot. i like to dive head first. but i am not drowning.

my breathing is worse. my legs sometimes feel stronger. but not monday morning. they feel like i lived through a weekend.

why not.

2008-08-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

why not take the time to share.
it is okay to stare.

if you ever get caught in the storm.
i will always be in my best form.

i like to thieve.
beauty i will achieve.

dont get caught up,
in this devil town dump.

the m.o. of m.o.

2008-08-26T13:08:00.000-07:00

i have to say that michelle obama really laid it down last night. she was on the money. to the point. put a blanket over many of the cold spots in this election and turned up the thermal on the rest. she delivered a very modern speech that could reach across the nation and grab the hands of the many americans who need to be held right now.

i dont think she mentioned god. which i found interesting.

her bra straps seemed like they were showing. but im a pick. i cant wait for her hair style to be all the rage. i hope the hillarites get there heads out of one anothers cunts and see it. all of it.

carrots.

2008-08-26T13:04:00.001-07:00

just making sure everyone has seen how cute i am in my carrot colored beret.

my fair lady

2008-08-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

thank you mike cronin for my new project. your garage sale was amazing. the boys you had it with were really sweet.

i think i fall into a new category of bike-ster. i now have two. one to ride. one to fix.

it still doesnt beat my breeze.

friday in eu.

2008-08-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

another rescue

2008-08-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

so once again i put my attendance in at the Troy Bike Rescue. once again i loved every moment of it. i finally took apart my first bike. it was a little rusty, a little pink, a little green, a little white, a little amazing.

i have a goal of riding to troy. i do not know when this will happen. but it will. i mentioned this to one of the ladies and she promptly gave me her number to make sure that i had a contact on the other side of the river. i feel that in my moment of a breakdown or my moment of thrilled accomplishment, she will be happy to hear it.

it was soooooo good.

2008-08-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

saved a bite for mike.

tried to eat it.

izzy wouldnt let me.

the charlestoff!

2008-08-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

so my schpew about one of the greatest finds of albany being great finds is not going to be like this one,

http://www.centralbidnewsletter.com/2008/04/shopping-for-good-cause-great-finds.html

i still feel i will offer a better selling point.

this afternoon i got a wardrobes worth of clothes for the measily cost of what can fit in a gold paper bag for a whopping ten dollars. besides the endless green schemed tops and dresses i will undoubtedly shorten, i happened to snatch the greatest find of all.

Great Finds is located at 250 Washington Avenue, on the corner of Washington and Henry Johnson Blvd. Great Finds is part of the ClearView Center at 500 Central Avenue. Great Finds is open 10-5pm Monday through Friday, and until 8pm on the first Friday of every month. Great Finds accepts donations of gently-used women's clothing and accessories.

ring my bell.

2008-08-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

i was never a crazy bike-ster. you know, the ones who dont have cars. the critical massers. the ones who have bicycle tattoos. the real hardcores out there that live the bike life. since recently i had never really thought of it. i am so happy that i finally do.

i love my bike. i love other people and their bikes. i love community programs that support and make it easier for bike-sters. i love that my new requirement for where i want to move is based on how bicycle friendly the city is. i also really like mike cronins idea of being far enough and close enough to bicycle into town. that is just so cute.

"darling"

"yes, honey"

"i am bicycling into to town. shall i grab you a treat?"

"honey, you are my treat"

the one thing i dont understand is how unfriendly people can be. and how someone can achieve total arrogant prickdom while also being so kind.

"you should really get some lights for that bike (stupid) " i know he was thinking stupid. you could tell in his voice. you know he would have called me stupid if i hadnt pulled my piece on that fucker.

but he was right. i do need lights. and he could have just saved my life. it is strange though. when i traveled across the country on the back of my grandfathers motorcycle every biker waves. smiles. chats. revs. not so much for the bicyclist.

i love being a someones favorite. i really really do.

2008-08-17T08:36:00.000-07:00

sunday isnt a day. minorly hungover and had my fill. i really dont understand the justification for subjecting myself the streets of popularity. it has broken sidewalks. excessively large gutters. and curb lights that shine shame.

at least i get good pictures from it. i get to have amazing conversation with really to die for people. long convo that seems to shed light on the parallels of us very intriguing albanites.

Two Things I Want To Do With A CANTALOUPE :

-put it in my chest for a heart.

-use it as a vagina.

Sgt Dunbar and the Hobo Banned .... the thing about time.
i hadnt heard them before i got this album. but i did hear the endless mixed reviews with no validity for my own opinion. finally, i can have one.

just for my adorning minimalist lovers out there. i like it. i really really like it.

love. i do.

2008-08-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

Ms. Vidalia Pot sings vintage inspired faux french.

how else would you approach the situation of finding a tree and sitting on it.

IZZY !!!!!!

2008-08-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

her name appears for every time you have asked me.

chores of living

2008-08-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

i want to have a day as productive as i had in this outfit. i should probably create my to do list for the day.

to do list:

-create "to do list".
-put clothes on.
(preferably something not ugly)
-go to park.
-take nap.
-look at previous list and get it done.
-dont call mike and tell him you wish he had made you go to nyc this weekend.
-eat.
-put my new mix "tape" in itunes.
-COMA show. woot. woot.
-STOP WEB LOGGING.

i love kids with ink

2008-08-16T08:59:00.000-07:00

and people who sound like this. and prison.

my friday treat

2008-08-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

i finally got the top of my quilt done. eeeeee. now we will have to wait another six months for me to take the day to do the rest.

make sure its proper. it is friday evening and i do have to maintain a rep.

ancient skies

2008-08-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

its raining,
its pouring.

this devil town is boring.

i went to bed,
with a gun to my head.

i didnt get up in the morning.

dear moon

2008-08-14T12:48:00.000-07:00

sweet crook of christmas
resonates cheek to chest consonance.

the girlish gist

2008-08-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

i have decided that as much as i love to sew. as much as this is better than porn. the more i would like to hold on to the child like level of love with it. my superhero-like abilities to make an outfit are no credentials for the attendance of fashion school.

i will continue to make dresses out of pillowcases and sheets. thrifted materials. and altered garments. this has brought me to believe that my career choice may lay in the more general area of DIY design with a focus in recycled material.

cataloging of a cathartic fashion

2008-08-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

an undisclosed amount of passion.

a ruthless critique of the world.

i have nothing to lose.

its my fault

2008-08-04T18:21:00.000-07:00

i just made a mistake.

it.s fri.day b.itch

2008-08-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

Rave On

2008-07-31T21:23:00.000-07:00

i want to take you
swim.
hold.
breath.
love.
eat.
strive,
for a life so deserving.

will you be mine
valentine.
August.
ours.
own.
eat.
live,
for a love undenied.

take me into you
moon.
sun.
shine.
trust.
eat.
deny,
anything other than you.

its my dance

2008-07-29T16:26:00.001-07:00

to the extent that it is absurd

2008-07-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

i have never felt the way i am feeling now. i cant imagine what i would do if i had the means to do what i want. which would be everything. anything. all at once.

i am.... i feel... so.... beautiful right now.

bike rescue

2008-07-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

tonight we went to the troy bike rescue. moved. i was moved. i have never been made to feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar situation as i was at this beautiful engagement. at first i was a little cold water about it. then, as soon as i let go of any regard to how i think people would react to me and me to them i was welcomed. beautifully.

i ran into someone i have met a slim handle of times. we reintroduced ourselves and he continued to work on, what i found out to be, a hot little commodity.

mike and i grabbed a bike and started to try and find its bruise. i was soon distracted and eager to find out what everyone else was finagling with.

polishing a frame for trust fund kids in the city. to rebuilding that thing that makes the gears move up and down. a. ummmmm..... you know a.....tension thingy. ( i will get back to you on that)

everyone answered all of my questions about whats that. this. why is. what for. such a sweet group of people.

i had the privilege to share my knowledge of children when four neighborhood kids came with their bikes. i got to help fix a flat tire with the patches i found (with help) on the right side of the thirdish shelf down in a little shed surrounded by took apart. pieced together and apart again bikes.

i was o'fish invited to participate in a, what did they call it, synchronized bike ride at fresnos tomorrow.

if i am not to tired from blogging too late. i think i may join my new friends for what i would only expect to be a welcoming and beautiful date.

the difference between me and you

2008-07-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday was pretty awesome as well. it just ended dirtier.........

sunday was beautiful............just fucking beautiful.

sometimes it is not pretty

2008-07-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

i have finally started to fall into grace. this warm feeling of comfort within me is turning my heart into a space shuttle. it is headed for the moon. then it will crash and i will be home.

i have had the best weekend. and monday. simply. amazing. friday i got to debut my best pillow case dress. of course it ended with a blood stain from a reopened wound. (that is only proof).

it is okay though. it ended with conversation, sunrise and a new hope for a lonely heart.

hollow skies

2008-07-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

in every situation we acknowledge the driver and the passenger. in my life i will drive myself through the city and watch stars shine. through fights we find ourselves looking through windows. in fights we sing.

i have a perpetual black eye that leaves me in pain every morning. i have an aching stomach that leaves me looking at the passengers from the night wondering why.

i see a sadness and a city that weeps, i see something that belongs to you and me.

i ride and i ride and i ride. and we cry, cry, cry. then we we sleep but not before we see the stars that are yours and mine, and they shine.

tis the dearest

2008-07-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

must have been a saturday night with moves like that.

i wonder what kind of events transpire in that outfit?.

"thank you beruit"

2008-07-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

mountains of krai

i go dancing in the night, when all the hopes i have are alive. by morning they will be dead as i search for what took my heart.

i climb through trees of sorrow, burning them behind me, never wanting to go home, never needed to be seen crying.

the bass will hit, the music wil pick up and in two seconds i will think of times, dancing in dreams in hearts in life and i will continue through your thoughts. the beat has picked up i am running through your valleys up the peaks i will plateau to find me fall off the edge i will then continue to run.

letters will be written from plain sight and hidden in mailboxes, they will sing through the visuals we someday may talk about. chitter chatter hearts speak fluently of love seeked, passed off and forbidden. we forget about loves the way we find new ones.

tongue in cheek...hidden in plain sight.....the death of boys before they become men, tricks a soldier taught me in the battle field.

i will send you postcards from my grave to yours, if you promise to dig me up if you get out of the ground first. i promise the same unmemorializing act to you.

then when unburied and ready we will run again. for all the clouds stars and tears we will run unbinded by social constraints or expected social behavior. we will take the beat of mount wroclai as our own and take the beat and breath. to dance live love and die all over again. and cry.

Im Ready!

2008-07-25T15:44:00.001-07:00

i made this dress. i did my hair. those aren't candy store eyelashes. yes, my lips are that pink.

dear steve.

2008-07-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

i have to go. i need to flee. i need to know that there is more to this than just this. this wasnt even a pretty place when i first got here. and now. i am just as ugly as all of the other ducks. i just wish i was just as drunk.

i wish i was lost. at least i would have an excuse for being here.

i want to fall in love with a city, i want to meet the reason for dying. there is nothing when i have rocks in my veins, habits to die and no winds to pick up the baskets i put the trash in.

trials. trials. and more. this isnt even the most interesting thing about this fright.

i need something to breath.

its really a homosexy squab shirt

2008-07-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

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