twenty two without a phone.

the struggle of an existence with a lesser dependence to technology than the average american.

i dont find myself becoming amish, but i would like to drift away from everyone else.  with the lack of practice of moderation and balance in these pre-post-modern times, i am not sure where "extreme" actions are necessary compared to non-steps being taken.  

extreme actions i feel i would like to practice would be having no car, no computer, and the most difficult....... no phone. 

 i have a car. does anybody want to buy it because i usually forget i have it. 

no computer, no change.  the interesting  thing about not having a computer is that i want one.  i cannot afford one.  for the most part, the most dragging reason as to why i want one is for convenience.  the constant "may i use your computer" thing is, quite simply, a drag. the weighing issues seem to come down to bothering others, which i dont really have a problem with and my modern disposition of laziness. 

the most arduous task is the ditching of the el phono. fuck. i recently dropped mine in the toilet. 6:43 a.m. on my way out the door for work.  i was disconcerted. all the text messages i was going to miss.  how was i going to call anybody when i went on delivery.   i wouldnt know the time.  what if zombies attacked. what if there was a hurricane.  an earthquake.  what would i do if i got a flat tire. was running late.  bored. tired. if i got excited.  what if i got got mad.  jesus. exactly, how the fuck did jesus survive without a phone?  

he didnt. he was nailed to  cross.  locked in a cave and no way to call anybody.

after all of this disconbobulance i thought about being broke.  i do spend five bucks a month for when this situation goes down, and trust me, it goes down often.  but i will also need to spend fifty on a new phone.  and then continue to spend 59.74 every month after.  which is up five bucks ever since i went three hundred over on my text messages.  

my mood started to shift. i began to realize that my stress was leading to moments of ease. i didnt have to worry about getting distracted from work. no look out for the cops as i scream around a corner in my bosses car.  no wondering why he hasnt called. and my favorite, a perfectly appropriate excuse for not calling anybody back, even though my voicemail has precedented for that continual occurrence. 

so, i am without a phone.  i dont even need to think about it.  the decision has been made. 

aw, fuck.  

my phone, it, it cant be. is it true. oh lord. it works.

now i have a choice.

maybe my choice will be to take the money that would normally go to paying for my phone, save it and buy a computer.